He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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