Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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