this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just forgot I was standing up.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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