Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
