dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
