Bisexual people are plain selfish.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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