hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
