Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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