i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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