i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
