DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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