you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
