i think my mom watched the whole time
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
