brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
