If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
