i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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