Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
And the cops told us we were all naked.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
