that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
