Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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