this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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