you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
