And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
