So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We're too hungover to prance.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
