i don't like sucking hair
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
