just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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