Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
