Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
