i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
