the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
