True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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