george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Randomize
