so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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