OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
PANTIES FOUND
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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