hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
