Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
