Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
