I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
