the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
