im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
