I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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