TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
