i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
