we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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