please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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