Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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