I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
