lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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