Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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