I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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