so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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