Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
